I Can Quit You

I think this must be what a man feels like when he walks out on his wife of 30 years for a younger model: guilty, empty, unglued, a bit relieved.

I’ve been mulling over this decision for a few years, and now that I’ve done it, I’m wondering if I did the right thing.

This is what happened yesterday:

The automated voice said “Hello, welcome to —-, for English press 1, for Spanish press 2.”

“Please say or enter the phone number you are calling about.”

“Our records indicate blah blah blah
Press 1.”

“If you are calling about a billing question press 1.”

“If you are calling about a technical problem press 1.”

“If you are calling about an upgrade press 1.”

“To bundle your service, etc, etc,”

Nothing applies, I press 1 about 100 times and finally . . .

“Please say what you are calling about.”

ME: “I WANT TO DISCONNECT MY LAND LINE.”

Auto bitch’s voice is suddenly a bit snarky:
“Due to unusually high call volume we are experiencing longer than usual hold times.”

Then eventually, “The office you are requesting is closed and will not open until Monday at 9am. Please call back during normal business hours.”

So today, I start fresh. I wait until 0900, and again go through all of the above, except for the office is closed part.

I’m now on hold, and unlike ‘Silence of the Lambs’ when Hannibal Lecter is punished in his jail cell with a televangelist show blasting on full volume, I’m audibly assaulted with . . . silence, no elevator music, no white noise, nothing. I’m not sure if I’m even still connected. Should I hang up and start again?

Finally, after what seems like hours, a rude professional picks up. (Is it still business hours?) I wipe the drool off my cheek, and try to remember where I am.

She shakes me down:
What do I want, who am I, why do I think I want to do what I say I want to do? Don’t I realize the danger I put my family in if I succeed in my task? What kind of a person has no land line?

And the big one . . .
“YOU’LL ONLY BE SAVING $4.00 A MONTH BECAUSE YOUR INTERNET IS BUNDLED, AND THAT PRICE WILL ALMOST DOUBLE WITHOUT YOUR PHONE.”

(Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with them.)

I LOVE THIS WOMAN. (see Stockholm syndrome)

I have lost the ability to think clearly. I look to my dog for advice. She just looks stupid.

I say . . . disconnect it anyway.

I feel sick.

(Reposted- I wrote this the last time we had this prompt. I am working on another for today.)

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/going-obsolete/”>Going Obsolete</a>http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/going-obsolete/

DAILY PROMPT
Going Obsolete,
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/?tag=writing-prompts

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