THE DAILY POST
Aug 16, 2014
…When all you need is a knife might not be ironic, but it is unfortunate. Add your own verse, stanza, or story of badly-timed annoyance to Alanis Morissette’s classic:
I believe today’s prompt wants me to lament my misfortunes. While it might be cathartic for me to write such a post, no one would read it. As such, there will be no poem from me today.
Today, I’m going to analyze Alanis.
Why does she have 10,000 spoons anyway?
“An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day”
Alanis, he lived a long life, and the shock of winning probably killed him.
“It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay”
Drink red, you won’t see the flies.
“It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late”
Oh, this is unfortunate.
“Isn’t it ironic
Don’t you think?”
No, I just said it’s unfortunate.
“It’s like rain on your weddin’ day”
According Chinese feng-shui, a rainy wedding is auspicious and means a fertile and prosperous life together.
“It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid”
I blame deregulation for all travel related complaints.
“It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take”
I told you so.
“A traffic jam when you’re already late”
This is Murphy’s Law, not irony.
“A no smoking sign on your cigarette break”
Smoking is bad.
“It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife”
Again, why do you own that many spoons?
“It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife,”
Umm and yes, Colin Firth is married.