There are many versions of the quote that states: “At the age of 50 you have the face you deserve.” Who knows who really penned that quote; nothing is truly original. Was it George Orwell, Coco Chanel, Me? Who cares? It is an interesting idea. Do I have the face I deserve? The results should be in by now.
I have had my “BIG” birthday. As much as I tried to ignore it, and I did completely ignore it, still, like the Christmas the Grinch stole, it came and went anyway, as I expected it would. Despite my best efforts of denial, I became that age. It’s taken me almost two years to come to terms with that fact, but I am the age that shall remain nameless + almost 2.
Let’s discuss some of the social boundaries placed on those who are that age. I’ve researched some “meet up” meat groups, purely for blogging research purposes, and according to the parameters they, (the “meet up” gods), set, not only am I too old to participate in the “Cougars and Cubs meet-up group”, I’ve been too old for for that group for several years. Too old to be the cougar that I never wanted to be? Now I am pissed. What a world! Kind of the opposite of that Groucho quote “I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.”
According to AARP, f*** them… oh f***! Did I say that? Did I mention that now that I am that age I can’t stop myself from dropping the F-bomb? Now that I’m old, it’s cute to swear right? Is that a f***ing medical condition? I still won’t be old enough to qualify for Medicare for many years, but is a broken filter on my choice of language covered by f***ing insurance? I’ll have my literary child edit out the frowned upon words before I hit publish. (Worlds best mom in action, I know.) As I started to say, according to the AARP “Family”, (like the Corleone family), aging has it’s perks. They make you offers you can’t refuse… if you submit. They offer discounts to those who are in the family, and they randomly disperse invaluable information… life changing information, such as:
Ten great cities to live in if you are living on a pension.
Ten great cities for older singles to live.
Ten great cities to live in if you have more fingers than teeth.
Ten great cities to live in if you want to meet someone like Colin Firth… Sold!
Now that I’ve accepted my age, I realize that the alternative to being this age is death. As such, aging has turned out exactly as I’d hoped it would.