I Hate Housework

At the end of any given long work day, I pull into my garage, walk up four steps, unlock the door and let myself in. As I appraise my kingdom, my first thought is always: “All that’s missing is yellow crime scene tape.”

You know that feeling of accomplishment when you’ve spent the better part of a day off cleaning the house, and you’ve finally finished? You put your feet up, sit back to enjoy a glass of wine while surveying your work. Is there anything as rewarding as a clean house? I wouldn’t know.


I live with three teenagers, and by the time I’ve cleaned one room and moved onto the next, at least one of them has infiltrated the room I just finished. If I were to finish cleaning, and reward myself by putting my feet up to enjoy that celebratory glass of wine, by the time I’d finished that glass of wine, the house would be close to the point it was at when I started my day. 
On a typical summer day, if you were to walk your dog down my street, the odds are good that you’d hear a raised voice, odds are even better that the raised voice is mine. The topic of discussion is the condition of the house that I left clean.
Example 1-

I find a dirty glass and dish in the office, crumpled up napkin on the floor. 
Me: “Who left dirty dishes in the office?”
Chloe: “That’s Emily’s, I don’t even use that computer.”
Derik: “You do too, I saw you. It’s Chloe’s.”
Emily: “Derik ate cereal, it’s his.”
Me: “I’m sending this to forensics, and when I get the results back, it’s going to be a bad day for one of you.”
All three ignore me.

Example 2- 

It could be blood, but since it’s splattered all over the inside of the microwave, I’m guessing pasta sauce.
Me: “Who heated up pasta in the microwave without covering it?”
Chloe: “Are you kidding? I just got home! Emily eats constantly. It was her.”
Derik: “Chloe made that before she left. I saw her.
Emily: “Derik did it. I don’t eat carbs.”
Me: “I’ll have the private investigators pull the surveillance tape and report back to me. Someone will be sorry.” 
All three ignore me.
**The names have been changed to protect the privacy of the accused.
Laundry, taking the trash out, dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms, dishes, straightening up, cutting the grass, yard work, grocery shopping, paying bills… I detest them all equally. I would never single one torment out to despise more than the others. It’s all monotonous and thankless work, and it never ends. I hate housework.
_____________________________________

The Daily Post, May 12, 2015, Daily Prompt: Those dishes won’t do themselves~ What’s the household task you most dislike doing? Why do you think that is — is it the task itself, or something more? <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/those-dishes-wont-do-themselves-unfortunately/”>Those Dishes Won’t Do Themselves</a><a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/those-dishes-wont-do-themselves-unfortunately/”>Those Dishes Won’t Do Themselves</a>

 


16 thoughts on “I Hate Housework

  1. “It could be blood, but since it’s splattered all over the inside of the microwave, I’m guessing pasta sauce.”

    I have one teenage son, but, wow, I can relate to this!!

    This was a good post – I feel your frustration, but I also found humor, as well. Well written!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My mother’s solution was to punish ALL of us. It didn’t matter who made the mess, or who started the fight, we all took the heat. And she utterly ignored us when we wailed, “That’s not fair!”
    It wasn’t fair—but it worked. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work on pets, at all!

    Liked by 1 person

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