A few years ago I found my self single after two decades of being half of a couple. It’s odd what you become after that many years spent as a half.
My job lends itself to travel, and on occasion, I find myself in a hotel room in an unfamiliar city. In my married past, when all the phone calls had been made, and all the days loose ends had been tied up, l’d spend the downtime in my hotel room reading, doing my nails, and eating dinner in the room. I might venture out to the workout room, but I was waiting for the clock to say I could call it a day.
I never felt like I had to do anything on my down time because I told myself that was work, and I reserved fun for home when I did things with my then partner. If there was a movie I wanted to see, I hoped I could talk the other half into seeing it. It was the same with restaurants, or venturing out into the world to explore. I waited, and rarely ever did what I was waiting for.
When I became a mom, my free time at home became nonexistent. I worked and raised my kids. Home was busy. The occasional work trip was frustrating. I was trapped in a hotel room, forced away from my family, and not giving myself permission to do anything during the time I was in exile. Who does things alone? The answer to that question for me today is that I do things alone. The realization that I don’t have to wait for someone else to live my life was freeing. When my marriage ended, I gave myself permission to live my life…alone.
The first time as with everything was awkward. It was odd sitting in a movie theater alone the first time. Sitting in a restaurant alone was strange at first. Navigating public transportation in each unfamiliar city was a bit stressful at first, but the rewards…parks, museums, historic landmarks, concerts, plays, it’s all there for me. I give myself permission to live my life alone.
Umbrella and key in hand, these days I venture out. There are many positive aspects to doing things alone. I decide what I want to do, and take as much or as little time as I want to do it. If I get distracted by something I find interesting I can change my course without a thought. I choose not to wait for the perfect time to do something I want to do, and if the choice is to stay in a hotel room, or go out alone, I go out alone, and I embrace it.
The Daily Post, October 18, 2015, Daily Prompt: Right to Brag~ Tell us about something you (or a person close to you) have done recently (or not so recently) that has made you really, unabashedly proud.<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/right-to-brag/”>Right to Brag</a>