My parenting style has been one of guilt and fear. Fuelled by caffeine, I have been practicing mental self flagellation since I first conceived twenty years ago, and that is a hard habit to break.
I won’t bore you with my entire list of guilts, but I will say that they are all encompassing, from the time my children were babies, when I selfishly took the personal time required to shave both legs during a single shower, to the perpetual guilt of having to work more than “everyone else’s mom”.
My list of worries also covers the map, ranging from the dangers of infant sleep, to the fears associated with the combination of teenagers and cars.
Life with all three children living at home is about to change, and to be honest, it’s a difficult transition. Today however, I wept with relief after a campus visit with my oldest. I realized something.
If my children were blends of coffee, I’d have one dark roast, one blonde roast, and a pike- medium blend. My blonde roast is my first born, and she has decided to attend school in California. She got here on a road filled with detours and pot holes, but that was the only road that could have lead her to this perfect place at this time. Now, she is a perfect fit here.
My second child is my dark roast, bold and robust, and not exactly what you think you’re getting with regards to caffeine content. This child graduates high school in a few weeks, and has decided on NYC for her college education this fall. If I had been told I had delegate one child to New York, she would have been the one, and yet this was her idea.
Last but not least my pike is still roasting into a medium blend. My son has just finished his freshman year of high school, so who knows where he’ll end up…possibly the middle—Kansas?
Neither of my parenting personality traits of fear and guilt have been helpful. I have learned that life will happen whether I torture myself or not—so why not let the guilt and fear go? Perhaps the time has come to switch to a nice herbal tea, and decide where in the world I want to build my empty nest…or I could just worry about where the money is going to come from to fund all of the above.
April 22, 2016, Daily One Word Prompt: Earth~ <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/earth/”>Earth</a>