The Purpose Of:

Work • The purpose of a job is to earn money to pay expenses…not to hear unwelcome daily updates on a co-workers personal life. 

Sustenance • The purpose of coffee is to fend off said overly chatty co-worker, by means of halitosis. 

Personal Space • The purpose of armrests is to provide a barrier in a theater, or on an airplane. By putting the armrest down, you are stating: “This is where your space ends and mine begins. Do not cross this chalk line.” (I often carry chalk to help illustrate this purpose.) Unfortunately, the oversized beast who wedged himself into the seat next to me can’t control his girth. This brings to mind the divine philosophical question: Who should buy two seats, me the poster child for claustrophobia, or you, the Twinkie abuser who unapologetically smothers me? Me thinks you.

Leisure • The purpose of reading is to expand your mind by living other lives in places you’ll never visit, with friends you’ve never met, doing things you’ll never have the courage, money, or time to do, and in the case of historic fiction, at a time when you did not yet exist. 

Driving • The purpose of bumper stickers is to help everyone, including police, profile you and all the people in your car. After I’ve read the stickers on your car, I easily can put you in an appropriate category…although that category always seems to be: idiot. 

* This purpose can also be applied to tattoos.

Home • The purpose of mowing ones lawn is so that ones house doesn’t look as though it’s been abandoned…at least that’s the only reason I mow mine.

The purpose of said lawn is to provide a location for ‘crazy old guy’ to allow his giant dog to crap, without ‘crazy old guy’ feeling obligated to pick it up. 

Parenting • The purpose of sending your child to school in another state is so that they can’t bring their laundry home on the weekends…they will save it for major holidays and semester breaks. 

The purpose of dorm life is to provide overprotective parents a mental baby step toward the idea that junior isn’t really out in the world fending for herself. It’s a comfort to know that she’s with other people’s babies. 

The purpose of a student loan is to ensure children return to the nest after college, because who can pay $1500 a month in loans, and rent at the same time? “You came back to clean your room?”

Pets • The purpose of animals is not to entertain people. Dogs and cats are the only animals content to live with those who take great care in ensuring their happiness. Birds, lizards, hedgehogs, bunnies, fish, killer whales, gorillas…leave them outside in their natural habitats. 

Live and let live. 

June 2, 2016, One Word Daily Prompt: Purpose~ <a href=””>Purpose</a&gt;

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