Like Non-Dairy Butter

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Act 1, Scene1, Page 5 ~William Shakespeare 

How to make a smooth transition from the Bard’s quote…love never did run smooth…smooth, like butter…fake, non dairy butter…like Smart Balance.

And there we have the smooth transition from Shakespeare to my topic today. 

Smart Balance was purchased by me, a person who cares not for the taste, texture, or idea of butter, however, my teenaged child wanted it, so we have it. I just read the label: oil is the main ingredient…canola oil to be exact. Hmm…
I am in possession of an enquiring mind, and therefore research is my middle name…deductive reasoning being my alias. I know that the olive is the mother of olive oil. Likewise, I understand the theory of vegetable oil. That would lead me to believe that a canola was sacrificed to make canola oil. But I thought a canola was a rolled Italian pastry…cream filled, dusted with powdered sugar and sprinkled with chocolate chips. No? 


So what is a canola? This is the best answer I found on the web:

“The oil comes from a specially bred variety of rapeseed, a yellow-flowering plant in the Brassicaceae (cabbage) family, developed by Canadian scientists in the 1970s. Its name is a contraction of Canadian and ola (meaning oil).” 

Those damn hipster Canadians…canola is a made up word, like frenemy, and bromance. 

And my next question: Is it healthy? 
“Canola oil has been called the world’s healthiest cooking oil.”

Well then, it must be true…although wasn’t heroin once used as a cough suppressant, and wasn’t tobacco once used as an enema? I take everything with a grain of salt, which for someone with low blood pressure, is not a bad thing. 

“This oil is not only healthy, but it is also environmentally friendly.” 

How is that? It is used to make soaps, plastics, cosmetics, printing inks, pesticides (smothering insects), industrial lubricants, and biofuel (true of any vegetable oil)…and my child wants to slather it on her toast…yum.

But what’s this…”Is canola oil toxic?”

Well, rapeseed (btw, who named that?) contains a substance called erucic acid, which has been linked with structural changes in heart tissues, and other problems in animals. Fear not non dairy butter substitute fans, for legend has it that canola has been specifically bred to be very low in erucic acid. Even though, in 1981, several hundred deaths in Spain were linked to food-grade rapeseed oil— it turned out the oil was contaminated with an industrial solvent that was being used illegally. 

Well, as long as someone is getting rich, I don’t see a problem.

And because I don’t want any rich Canadian hipster scientists coming after me for questioning their products, I will pass on the “health benefits.”

**Canola oil consists of 61% monounsaturated fats, almost as much as olive oil, and 32% polyunsaturated fats, it’s low in saturated fats, high in alpha-linolenic acid (that’s good), and canola oil contains phytosterols, which lower cholesterol, along with some vitamin E and K.

In conclusion, I suggest we forego all food until further research is conducted.

**Warning: reading this section may cause drowsiness. Do not operate heavy machinery (which may have been lubricated with canola oil), until you can determine the level of drowsiness you have sustained.

_______________________________
June 5, 2016, One Word Daily Post: Smooth~ <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/smooth/”>Smooth</a&gt;

7 thoughts on “Like Non-Dairy Butter

  1. Ha! You are such a riot. I use Land O’ Lakes Buttery Tasting Spread. My husband always accents the word ‘Tasting’ and reminds me it is not really butter. Really? Do I look like I care? Honey?
    Yes, totally with you on the rapeseed oil–what in the heck is up with that name?! Lydia–please pass the toast and non-dairy butter….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is almost impossible for the informed to choose any sane diet, I agree. So I just eat what I want until my clothes get tight and then stop eating everything I want until I convince myself I look sexy enough or failing that, at least have a reasonable number of clothes to wear again.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I am going home for a town reunion in July and another blogger who is from my hometown said that she was busy getting ready for her reunion. First she had to gain ten pounds, then she had to get the worst haircut possible, which her best friend agreed she has achieved. Ha. I loved it and in fact it pretty much describes my present state as well.

        Liked by 1 person

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