Naked Farming / What Farmer’s Tan?

I have hit a plateau. My blog has become as stagnant as my social life, and it needs a kick in it’s post-erior. This morning before I got up to let the dogs out, I spent a minute or two extensively researching more successful blogs. I realized ten things:

  1. Successful blogs always list ten things in their posts.
  2. There is usually a point to what is posted, rather than random stream of consciousness ramblings, with hopes that not too many comma’s were sacrificed in the post.
  3. I need to fully commit to one topic for my blog. Is this a blog about: 1. Parenting teens/ empty nest, 2. Single parenting, 3. Working for the man/corporate greed, 4. Divorce/Being fifty and single, 5. Everyday is in fact a holiday, 6. Business travel, 7. Deaf dogs (How can you be sure they aren’t faking in order to avoid going out in the rain?), 8. Taxes/Why Donald Trump is an asshole. 9. Being only half Greek, and not seeing any humor in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, 10. Why it’s so hard to think of a number 10?
  4. I need advertising that will make it impossible to navigate my “content”, so people will give up, and not notice that there is never a conclusion.
  5. Memes – not sure what they are, but I need a lot of them. Bursts of color and flashing lights like a used car lot might help too.
  6. Less poetry, and this is why:  Free Verse, Limerick, Sonnet, Haiku, They’ve all been done better than they are done by you. Shakespeare, Shelly, Dr. Seuss…People today think to rhyme is obtuse.
  7. Champion a cause: such as “Middle Child Syndrome”, (Jan Brady’s life was hard), and how that extends to everything: the middle seat of an airplane, middle age, middle back exercises, embarrassing middle names, people who pull the middle section out of bread.
  8. Reference either Superheroes or Colin Firth in every single post. 
  9. Sell T-shirts that say: “Team Lydia”, or “Vote Lydia for Worlds Greatest Mom”, or “I helped fund Lydia’s children’s college educations by buying this t-shirt.”
  10. Always stop at ten things.
  11. The title has to grab the eye, for example: “Naked Farming / What Farmer’s Tan?”

In conclusion, (always let people know that this is the end point of the post by saying “in conclusion”), now that I have mapped out a strategy that will enable me to break out of the little blog world, and into the world of the big blog, I say thank you to all of you who started reading my posts back in the day when I actually had something to say…or at least I thought I did. 

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October 3, 2016, Daily Prompt: Breakthrough~ <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/breakthrough/”>Breakthrough</a&gt;

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