I have hit a plateau. My blog has become as stagnant as my social life, and it needs a kick in it’s post-erior. This morning before I got up to let the dogs out, I spent a minute or two extensively researching more successful blogs. I realized ten things:
- Successful blogs always list ten things in their posts.
- There is usually a point to what is posted, rather than random stream of consciousness ramblings, with hopes that not too many comma’s were sacrificed in the post.
- I need to fully commit to one topic for my blog. Is this a blog about: 1. Parenting teens/ empty nest, 2. Single parenting, 3. Working for the man/corporate greed, 4. Divorce/Being fifty and single, 5. Everyday is in fact a holiday, 6. Business travel, 7. Deaf dogs (How can you be sure they aren’t faking in order to avoid going out in the rain?), 8. Taxes/Why Donald Trump is an asshole. 9. Being only half Greek, and not seeing any humor in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, 10. Why it’s so hard to think of a number 10?
- I need advertising that will make it impossible to navigate my “content”, so people will give up, and not notice that there is never a conclusion.
- Memes – not sure what they are, but I need a lot of them. Bursts of color and flashing lights like a used car lot might help too.
- Less poetry, and this is why: Free Verse, Limerick, Sonnet, Haiku, They’ve all been done better than they are done by you. Shakespeare, Shelly, Dr. Seuss…People today think to rhyme is obtuse.
- Champion a cause: such as “Middle Child Syndrome”, (Jan Brady’s life was hard), and how that extends to everything: the middle seat of an airplane, middle age, middle back exercises, embarrassing middle names, people who pull the middle section out of bread.
- Reference either Superheroes or Colin Firth in every single post.
- Sell T-shirts that say: “Team Lydia”, or “Vote Lydia for Worlds Greatest Mom”, or “I helped fund Lydia’s children’s college educations by buying this t-shirt.”
- Always stop at ten things.
- The title has to grab the eye, for example: “Naked Farming / What Farmer’s Tan?”
In conclusion, (always let people know that this is the end point of the post by saying “in conclusion”), now that I have mapped out a strategy that will enable me to break out of the little blog world, and into the world of the big blog, I say thank you to all of you who started reading my posts back in the day when I actually had something to say…or at least I thought I did.
October 3, 2016, Daily Prompt: Breakthrough~ <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/breakthrough/”>Breakthrough</a>