How to Act “Normal”

Appearances can be deceiving. I know this because I appear calm (ask anyone), but underneath this calm exterior lays a woman who often wonders what colors straight jackets come in, and if they come in a choice of styles: turtleneck for winter, halter for summer, hooded for rainy days…

Some people feel stress more than others, and some exhibit the signs of stress more than others. In an effort to help you understand what might identify you as one among the stressed population, I’ve compiled a list of telltale signs: you are accident prone, you chain-smoke, you drink to excess, you suffer from some type of skin problem or you often look flushed, you sweat excessively, you are crying right now, you bite your nails, you are socially withdrawn, you appear confused and you may not realize it, but you are drooling. 

Some doctors will tell you stress is the root cause of many if not all chronic degenerative diseases like cancer, stroke, heart disease, diabetes, asthma, arthritis, and some 200 others. I am not a doctor so I can’t dispute it, but I will say that hearing reading that adds significantly to my stress level, so thank you doctor. 
For that reason, this is the point in my post when I would like to tell you how to live a stress free life…but I don’t know how to do that myself, so I can not. Feel free to read my post with nine such suggestions that did not work for me. 

Or you could google “how to live a stress free life.” Im sure there is plenty of advice out there. 

What I can do for you today is to give you seven ways to appear normal when stessed:

  1. Slow down…a lot…infact don’t move at all. It’s hard to be clumsy if you don’t move. 
  2. Layer antiperspirant (which is a mandatory purse or pocket item) and re-apply often.  
  3. Don’t drink or smoke anything- that behavior solves nothing. Being stressed and hungover is worse than just being stressed.
  4. Use makeup to cover any stress induced skin problem you may be plagued with.
  5. Carry a book. It sends a message that you are not too confused to read. This is an excellent ploy for another reason—
  6. If you must cry you can blame it on the book you are “reading.”
  7. Wipe that drool off your mouth.

You might be thinking: “What’s the point in acting normal? Why should I care if people can see I’m stressed?” 

To that I say—Do you really want people to engage you in conversation in order to cheer you up? If you are truly stressed you answered NO. Socially withdrawn was in my list of tells, remember? That’s all I have for you today. Best wishes on your future success. 

And yay Sioux Indians for sticking it to the man!

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