As Proof That No News is Good News — I Offer You Tonight’s Headlines:

The 411

  1. GOP Karen Handel ( Mike Pence with tits) has been elected to the U.S. House, District 6 of Georgia. This heavily republican district has proven to be unwinable by a democrat. None has won since 1978. 
  2. This loss by democrats could cement the passing of Trump-care. Here is what we know about the republican healthcare bill so far, 
  3. In other news, Donald Trump seeks to cut housing aid— except for the subsidy that benefits… Donald Trump. 
  4. Jeff Keebler Sessions has retained a lawyer.
  5. Steve Bannon called Sean Spicer fat.
  6. At 36%, Trump’s approval rating is pretty damn low. 
  7. Photographic proof exists that Trump’s attourney has ties to Russia. Don’t worry, he has lawyered up.
  8. Trump Jr. is tied to Russian mob money laundering.
  9. Donald Trump strong armed Ford Motor Company into not moving their factories to Mexico, so they are moving their factories to China. 
  10. The Chinese embassy has invited Ivanka and husband Jared Kushner to visit China.

That’s about all I can stand for one night. Good night, please wake me up in 2020.

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