Chris Christie Solves Budget Crisis

Jersey’s Governor Christie bemoaned

A budget impasse can’t be condoned

Decreed parks and shores closed

3500 furloughed 

Then used the beach for his family alone

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/sunny/”>Sunny</a&gt;

U With the Uterus 

Hey! You with the uterus! 

Stop right there!

Drop that insurance card!

Hands in the air!

You suspected pregnancy 

And bought a urine test

Don’t try to pass it off as new— 

The condition pre-exists!

Mammograms and Pap smears

All your women’s needs

You expect them to be covered 

In your health plan? That’s just greed.

Rich old white male politicians 

Won’t vote to subsidize the cost

Of care to keep you healthy here

In America— democracy is lost

Though they all had mothers 

Who birthed them at one time

Do their moms see what happened 

To their Repugnant offspring? It’s a crime.

A tax cut has priority 

Over compassion and ethics

Viagra however— treats a condition 

Which never pre-exists

So, you with the uterus, 

Happy Mothers Day!

Of that uterus, what happens to it— 

By the way, you have no say

Though the senate won’t approve this bill, 

Their version keeps women under attack

Because it’s not orange, no it’s Women 

Women are the GOP’s new black

Speaking of Cake

Speaking of cake, today is my birthday. Please don’t comment happy birthday, because I’ll ignore it. I hate everything about birthdays. I only mention mine to illustrate the fact that birthdays are just another day. If a person (I) expects people to bow at their (my) will, just this one day a year, they (I) will be sorely disappointed. 

I woke up to the sound of my 16 year old son’s manly voice: “Happy Birthday Mom, I’m sick.” 

Regardless of how that sentence started, my response was the same as it is every week when he tries this: 

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! YOU’RE NOT SICK! GET IN THE SHOWER AND GET ON THAT BUS!” 

He continued as always: “I was getting sick yesterday, if you didn’t notice, you’re not paying attention.”

Me: “OH MY GOD, GET ON THAT BUS! I AM NOT CALLING THE SCHOOL!” 

I could go into more details, but I choose to save those for the Department of Children and Family Services. When they knock on my door to inquire as to why my son doesn’t show up for school once or twice a week, I’ll invite them in for a slice of birthday cake, and hope they can advise me on how to parent this 16 year old who towers over me, and respects me not, because I’m at a loss. 

Yay me! Another year older.

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/timely/”>Timely</a&gt;

Trump Proclaims April National Sexual Assault Awareness Month—Oh Yes He Did

The month of April is upon us

National Fools Day, if you care

It’s a month proclaimed by POTUS:

Of Sexual Assault to be Aware

Himself a sexual predator 

Named in many accusations

Audio proof released by an editor

Ignored by half the population

Saint Trumpstinks Day

Here’s to a con-man in chief

A glorified white collar thief

With underworld ties

His talk is all lies

Real is fake—that is his belief

~

To cut taxes for his rich friends

Further funding cuts never end

From food to healthcare 

His judgement’s impaired

We bankroll his golf weekends

 ~

Filled his cabinet with supremacists

Who claim climate change doesn’t exist

Takes credit for all

Job growth big and small

One expects this from a narcissist 

~

He defunded the EPA

Gave banks rights to screw as they may  

Every day he does more

It will take years to restore

The U.S. to it’s former heyday 

~

He suffers foot in mouth disease

Offends all from the Brits to Chinese

Australia, Sweden

French, Scotts, the Germans

Off to Russia for golden striptease
~

Putin’s loves his little czarina

Trump’s brand—it’s all made in China

He and his rich friends

Hide cash in the Caymans 

His tiny girl hands grab vaginas

~

Fin

The Defiled Beer Can

According to The National Day Calandar, today, January 24, 2017 is Beer Can Appreciation Day. In observance, please enjoy my ode to an abused beer can.

There once was a beer can I found

As I walked it lay there on the ground

Picked it up and I knew

Someone used for chew

Yum- tobacco and spit sloshed around

That beer can—so hastily strewn

Angered me on that late afternoon

Green thoughts and disgust

Converged- it’s unjust

Recycling’s banned once it’s been a spittoon

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/devastation/”>Devastation</a&gt;