What the Hell is Going On? 20 Questions for Robert Mueller

Robert, if you’re listening, please call me. I normally don’t pick up, but if you let it ring once then hang up, 3x, I’ll google your phone number. I’m guessing google will tell me it’s you, so when you call the 4th time I’ll pick up. If google doesn’t have your digits, I’ll probably block you. If I block you Robert Mueller, it will be too late to try texting.

I have 20 very important questions to ask on behalf of my readers (both of them), so if the above comes to pass, please just stop by my house. My dogs will probably jump on you, so don’t wear your best clothes.

Fair warning: My house, has some unidentifiable smells, maybe you could send some of your men over to locate the source.

When my children were younger we’d occasionally play a game called “find the smell.” A couple of times it was a bad potato- have you ever smelled one?

Also, sit on my long suffering furniture at your own risk. You may never be found.

Come to think of it, the smell may be related to a series of unaccounted for guests.

Hmm. Time to pull out the vacuum.

Better yet, let’s meet somewhere for coffee. I drink tea as well, but usually only when I’m playing dress up and watching Pride and Prejudice, the Colin Firth version, (🙄 of course). I could bring my laptop to the coffee shop in order to play the series, while enjoying my English breakfast tea… but I don’t feel comfortable transporting my life size Colin Firth/Mr Darcy cardboard cut out… he’s shy— Mr Darcy, not Colin Firth. Colin Firth may be shy, or perhaps he’s just Britishly (word?) proper… fuck it, I’ll just have coffee.

Hold on… I can’t go out for coffee because I don’t have anything to wear. My clothes went to college, without pre-approval. I’d buy new clothes but, as I implied, my daughter’s are in college (I’m poor). You have kids right? Have you ever “creeped” on their Instagram accounts and seen your clothes worn by their friends? I haven’t, but if I could figure out Instagram…

In any event, my clothes may come back in June, because Ivanka’s $1 billion (her fee) solution to the student debt crisis is to stop issuing student loans. We could wait until June to meet for coffee, but I think Trump will have killed us all by then.

Or we could FaceTime. My arms will get tired holding my phone at a non nostril featuring angle, but I can prop my elbows up on my knees… too hard.

Let’s go back to the top— text me.

Robert, if you’re listening, please text me.

*💡* 💡*

Just respond to the questions here, on this post! My critical thinking skills never fail me.

Let’s get right to it, 20 concisely composed questions, because I know you’re important:

1. Was your investigation cut short by AG Barr?

2. Do you believe AG Barr was able to read your (several hundred page) report, and sufficiently review all the evidence, in the 48 hours it took him to issue his “summary”?

3. Does he remind you of Fred Flintstone?

4. Does AG Barr’s 4 sticky note summary, containing 101 words, (I’m sure I’ve exceeded that by now), capture the true essence of your two year long investigation?

5. What color sticky notes did he use? Were they scented, and if so, what scent? Do they still make scented sticky notes? (4 questions in 1 😬)

6. Trump’s new fixer, AG Barr, has now “walked back” his 101 word cover up, saying you will assist him in creating a redacted version of your report. Will you? Will you really? Because if you do help Barr prepare it — I think the stench of consumed wine emanating from American flesh may dissipate, which could be helpful to the environment, but could, in turn, hurt the California wine industry. Yesterday Barr said: “My March 24 letter was not and did not purport to be an exhaustive recounting of Robert Mueller’s investigation or report.” (Sure, Jan.😉)

7. Did he decide to do this because he sensed he wasn’t going to be able to sweep this one under the rug, (obstruct justice), like he did Iran Contra in 1992?

8. You have known Barr, at least that long, which gives you insight the American people don’t have. Is there any reason we should trust anything he says, because why would he be so stupid as to join Trump’s house of cards after witnessing the beginning of the fall?

9. Barr also now says: “there are no plans to submit the report to the White House for a privilege review.” That’s new. Was he busted covering up for Trump?

10. Will the redactions made be specifically justified to Congress?

11. Prior to the sticky note release Barr said that anything negative, pertaining to Trump, would be redacted, because Trump was not indicted, (as such, why besmirch his good name). Did I dream that? If not, is that legal?

12. Barr has done an about ass, no longer planning to sit on your report forever, nor will he take Devin Nunes’ advice and “burn it.” (Gee, is he mentioned in the report?) Barr has also offered to testify in congress as well. Can you tell us what happened to bring about his change of heart?

13. Trump has attacked you several times during your investigation, then when he thought he got away with treason he praised you, then some facts from your report leaked, and now he’s name calling again. Do you prefer the “I’m rubber, you’re glue” or the “sticks and stones” response, as a rule?

14. Should Kushner and Junior get their affairs in order, in anticipation of a midnight raid?

15. Have you farmed out all their shady business deal crimes to SDNY, EDVA, and NYAG?

16. Are you a fan of the Oxford comma?

17. Why doesn’t congress just subpoena you and or your report?

18. This experience has inflicted millions of Americans with severe chronic anxiety disorder. Is America’s Xanax reserve going to see us through to the end of this Trump documentary?

19. Will you indict Pence and Trump together? I think that is Mike Pence’s most favorite wish… sigh.

20. Do you ever get Chuck Schumer and Adam Schiff mixed up? I think congress should be required to wear “Hello My Name is ____” stickers. Have you ever referred to Colonel Sanders as Colonel Chicken? It’s not okay. (Schiff is my new hero.)

21. Do you think Nancy Pelosi would have eventually been able to pry your report out from under AG Barr’s ass, with some sort of lever?

22. After Ken Starr’s report, the rules changed as to how information can be distributed upon completion of this type of investigation. Why didn’t Barr just ask for a court order to permit him to turnover the report and evidence to congress? Will anyone, other than Barr, see an un-redacted version of the report?

Oh shit, I said 20 questions didn’t I? Ignore any 2, (maybe 3&5).

Thank you for your service, and your time today. I shall await the ping of your response in my comments file. Any follow up questions will be posted at a future date.

Congress To Get Redacted Mueller Report By Mid-April, Attorney General Says

A Fly on the Wall of the Oval Office…


[The Oval Office, March 26, 2019]

The room, where much American History has taken place, is filled with a group of men: mostly gray haired, physically interchangeable, soft, fleshy, one is orange, one young, with dimples, wearing a pencil suit, another man of an indeterminate age, with an endless forehead, (possibly a vampire), a fly unnoticed on the wall just above a portrait of Andrew Jackson…


A guttural slurring Queens dialect: “PUTIN SAYS DO IT ALL TODAY, NOW! People will forget we buried the Mueller report… what else can you think of? Pence, stop staring at me.”

The voice of ancient turtle from Kentucky: “We’ll talk about the deficit, say we have to gut Medicare, Medicaid, slash Social Security, and tell Betsy to defund the Special Olympics… fuck it, the whole Affordable Care Act: pre-existing conditions and women’s preventative procedures, like mammograms and Pap smears… “

A southern dialect, an octave higher it would be Scarlet O’Hara: “I don’t have a cervix. Why should I have to pay for it?” (Giggles)

(The sound of men laughing hands slapping backs)

This voice, obviously prepubescent, nasal: “Say it’s unconstitutional.”

Queens: “Barr! Get to work on the pardons! Pence, I feel your eyes on me!”

Vampire: “We’ll need more babies from the border.”

Fred Flintstone: “Force a vote on the green new deal today! Climate change… “

Queens: “I won’t be around to see the damage. What did Melanie say— I really don’t care. Do you?”

(More laughter)

Flintstone: “We’ll throw it all up in the air at the same time like confetti. Keep em running in circles trying to save what they can.

Ancient Turtle: Worried about their basic needs. Mueller and his report are already forgotten.”

Scarlet: “But they’ll never vote GOP again… red states have the highest welfare rates. The blue states are full of workers whose tax dollars maintain the rest of the US.”

Prepubescent: “Ivanka planned for that, don’t worry. No more student loans will be issued… “

Queens: “I love the uneducated. PENCE, LOOK AT SOMEONE ELSE!”

Turtle: “These people vote against their own interests every time.

Prepubescent: “It doesn’t matter how they vote. What was it Stalin said?”

Together they all chant:

“It’s not the people who vote that count, it’s the people who count the votes.”

Queens: “Let’s golf… PENCE, some personal space!”

(Laughing and back slapping ensues as the gray haired men filter out of the Oval Office.)


A FLY on the wall, just above the painting of Andrew Jackson, speaks in the emptied room:

“The possibility that there will not be a free and fair election in 2020 is real.

The damage we see unfolding will continue. This is a turning point in history. We must fight this obstruction now, it will only get worse. There is still hope if we don’t give up.”


BREAKING: Deutsche Bank has agreed to turn over Trump’s financial records to Congress

BREAKING: Deutsche Bank has agreed to turn over Trump’s financial records to Congress – Democratic Underground

Trump Campaign Chief Outlines $1 Billion Strategy For 2020 On Trip To Romania

Barr Is Going To Allow Trump To Edit The Mueller Report

Watergate Figure John Dean Suspects Barr May Be Hiding Something ‘Fairly Ugly’

The Trump administration wants all of Obamacare overturned by the courts

Justice Department sides with court ruling ObamaCare invalid

Eric Prince’s Perjurious Slip of the Tongue…

This interview with Eric Prince is worth a listen. Who is he? He’s a former Navy Seal (impressive), he’s also former CEO of a government services and security company called Blackwater USA, which essentially pays civilians to act as security in locations around the world where American troops have been withdrawn. It is privatized military for profit and it made him over a billion dollars- paid by us, the American taxpayer.

Here’s a shocker, he’s a Trump supporter, and brother to, least likely to succeed at her job as Secretary of Education, Betsy P (potential grizzlies) Devos.

The following interview should set the standard for journalism.

Mehdi Hasan, of Al Jazeera is the journalist questioning Eric Prince. To say he’s good at what he does is an understatement. He is relentless, armed with facts he shoots with rapid-fire in response to every denial. He’s fearless. This was a battle of wits to which Eric Prince arrived unarmed.

Hasan flustered Prince to the point that he admitted to having been at the infamous (nothingburger) Trump Tower meeting in August 2016. You may remember it as the meeting Don Jr said was to discuss Russian adoptions. Jr perjured himself over this meeting.

In Prince’s case, his mere attendance was a fact he failed to disclose when questioned by the House Intelligence Committee… his admission in the interview, to having been there, was an inadvertent confession of perjury.

I think perjury is still illegal… even for Trump’s people.

Again, it’s well worth a listen.

Erik Prince acknowledges 2016 Trump Tower meeting for first time

Kushner’s a Spy… a limerick

Why did Kushner need top secret clearance?

Lied 40 times but had perseverance

He needed a fix

5th Ave- 666,

Sold Saudis secrets… by all appearance


Security application denied

It was clear by omission he had lied

Trump’s interference

Demanded adherence

Kush will sell Saudis nukes, it’s verified


Kushner is tied to the brutal killing

Of Khashoggi, Kush sold him, thus fulfilling

Part of his bargain

To Crown Prince Salmon

Espionage, who’ll stop it, who’s willing?

“Jared Kushner’s problem is…he is trading intelligence for favors. And the one thing we know he did is Prince Mohammed Bin Salman of Saudi Arabia said, bragged publicly that Jared Kushner brought him the names of all the tax cheats in Saudi Arabia and he carried out that massive sweep of Princes and billionaires and then extorted almost a trillion dollars of money that was being withheld out of them. And that came from U.S. intelligence.” ~ Malcom Nance

Kushner Accused Of Selling State Secrets

The Trump administration wants to sell nuclear technology to the Saudis — without a nuclear agreement. That’s alarming.

Trump’s Morning… conjecture

The lunatic has risen from his disturbed sleep, plagued with reoccurring nightmares of indictment: mime golfing in a concrete prison ground, skin sallow, hair glue dissolving, prison food, (a single scoop at best), phone confiscated, they even took his loooong red tie… why?

He wipes the crusty sleep from his swollen eyes, prying them open with his stubby fingers, as he feels around for his glasses and hair, inadvertently knocking his 2 liter bottle of adderall to the floor… “WHO PUT THAT THERE?!”

Although he is incapable of articulating his thoughts, he sits back against the mound of pillows, encased in 1,000,000 thread Saudi cotton, and asks himself why he did it.

He is unable to pushback against feelings of despair rising in his soul, with the understanding his criminal endeavors would never have been scrutinized to this extent had he not run for precedent, (president). A threatening letter sent by his attorney, (the rat), would have made any threat disappear in the… good old days.

Moisture on his cheeks! Is he bleeding? No, it’s some strange salty clear liquid.

His thoughts resume: stupid, stupid, stupid. But Putin would never have allowed him to lose.

Now he awaits his daily instructions. They come through back channels set up by his disappointing son in-law.

His mind wanders to Ivanka, and his sadness intensifies.

He turns on “Fox and Friends” as he presses the call button next to his bed, shouting: “bring me my phone and a hamberder.”

Security Nepotism

Is that a thing now?

It has been confirmed by four sources that, in May, against the advice of former White House Chief of Staff, General John Kelly, Donald J Trump ordered officials give his son in-law, Jared Kushner, Top Secret Security Clearance.

Kushner had previously been denied clearance due to his repeated and continued “mistakes” by omission of pertinent information with regards to his security clearance application, which he amended the 40 times, each time adding a debt owed or a foreign official he’d been in contact with.

In the end, his federal disclosure form included more than 100 names of foreign contacts.

This question begs an answer- Is he stupid, or was he hiding something… both perhaps?

His explanation last July was as follows:

“I did not remember the meeting and certainly did not remember it as one with anyone who had to be included on an SF-86.”

Okay, that may explain one, (in a sort of half assed way), now explain the other 99.

How a president can override something that puts our national security at risk is beyond comprehension.

You may remember Kushner tried to set up “back channel communications” with the Russians, as per surveillance tapes of one time Russian diplomat Sergey Kislyak.

Kushner has also been ridiculed by Saudi leaders and labeled “easy to manipulate”. Kushner is said to have been the source who gave Mohammad bin Salman, the bone-saw Saudi Crown Prince, a list of his enemies, which led to the brutal murder of journalist Khashoggi.

Jared Kushner’s astounding debt has somehow dissipated since Trump took office. 🤔

White House Press Secretary Gem, Sarah Sanders explained the situation as follows:

“We don’t comment on security clearances.”

Thank you, Sarah.

The time to step in has long passed.

Don’t despair, there is good news. Michael Cohen’s testimony has led to a promise, by Congressman Elija Cummings, Chairman of the House Oversight Committee. He has vowed to seek interviews with Jarvanka, as well as traitor tot Don Jr, and Felix Sater.

Adam Schiff says

ersight will seek interviews with Trump Jr., Ivanka after Cohen revelations

Kushner meets with Saudi crown prince for first time since Khashoggi killing

What We Know About Efforts to Set Up a Trump-Russia Back Channel

Background check chief has ‘never seen’ mistakes like Kushner forms

Whoops! Jared Kushner Made Even More Mistakes in His Federal Filings