U With the Uterus 

Hey! You with the uterus! 

Stop right there!

Drop that insurance card!

Hands in the air!

You suspected pregnancy 

And bought a urine test

Don’t try to pass it off as new— 

The condition pre-exists!

Mammograms and Pap smears

All your women’s needs

You expect them to be covered 

In your health plan? That’s just greed.

Rich old white male politicians 

Won’t vote to subsidize the cost

Of care to keep you healthy here

In America— democracy is lost

Though they all had mothers 

Who birthed them at one time

Do their moms see what happened 

To their Repugnant offspring? It’s a crime.

A tax cut has priority 

Over compassion and ethics

Viagra however— treats a condition 

Which never pre-exists

So, you with the uterus, 

Happy Mothers Day!

Of that uterus, what happens to it— 

By the way, you have no say

Though the senate won’t approve this bill, 

Their version keeps women under attack

Because it’s not orange, no it’s Women 

Women are the GOP’s new black

When Chocolate Cake is Really Beautiful…

“O beauty, passing beauty! Sweetest sweet!  How can thou let me waste my youth in sighs?”  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson.  

~~~~~

*Warning- the following post may be offensive to people who respect Chocolate Cake.

I’ve taken the liberty of altering just a few of Donald Trump’s comments about women…although he would never denigrate chocolate cake in the same fashion:

“You don’t give a shit if a piece of chocolate cake can play a violin like the greatest violinist in the world. You want to know, what does it look like.”

“A piece of chocolate cake that is very flat-chested is very hard to be a 10.”

“It doesn’t really matter what they write, as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of chocolate cake.”

Pieces of chocolate cake, you have to treat them like shit.”

“Must be a pretty picture, chocolate cake dropping to it’s knees.”

“Grab them by the chocolate cake.”

“When I come home and a beautiful piece of chocolate cake is not ready, I go through the roof!”

“I tell my friends to be rougher with their chocolate cake.”

“For a man to be successful, he needs a beautiful piece of chocolate cake at home, not some cake who is always griping and bitching.”

“You never get to the face because the chocolate cake is so good.”

“Nobody has more respect for chocolate cake than I do.”

Our POTUS – be proud.

An Intoxicated Volcano Erupting with Shimmering Bliss that Smells Pretty Good

Every once in a while it’s nice to reflect on the good things. Today I will attempt to list 10 things in my life that are pleasant.

  1. My children are all healthy. That wasn’t the case 6 months ago, so I am…beyond any interjection your thesaurus has to offer…I am an intoxicated volcano erupting shimmering bliss that smells pretty good.
  2. My car runs.
  3. Aldi sells gummy bears.
  4. The hydrangea bush I thought I killed is showing signs of life.
  5. You can buy hair color for $7.95, and sometimes with a $2.00 coupon.
  6. I’m not as old as I’ll be next year.
  7. Thanks to Donald Trump cutting the environmental protection agency out of the budget, I’ll soon have waterfront property. (Sorry neighbors, this is about me.)
  8. It’s spring!
  9. My unibrow has been contained.

Is that really only 9? Ugh.
    10.  I’m done writing today’s post—that counts, my blog my rules.

I’m not a Pollyanna. I have to admit my life isn’t perfect, regardless of the impression my list has left you with. For example: today is ‘National Grilled Cheese Day, and I can not participate in the celebrations taking place across the country, due to lactose intolerance. Still, I choose to focus on my list…today.

Let’s see your list.

______________

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/pleased/”>Pleased</a&gt;

Opinion of an Airline Employee

United Airlines is having a bad month. Actually that statement is mild— they’re in the middle of a public relations nightmare. 

Viral videos circulating this week of a passenger dragged off an oversold airplane, and the photos of his bloodied face after hitting a few armrests along the way, have sent twitter a flutter with angry opinions. The video gives “fear of flying” new meaning.

There was also a leggings incident on United a few weeks back. I’ll refresh your memory: A teenaged girl was told to change her clothes before she was allowed to board the aircraft…while traveling on a free pass. 

Emotions based on a lack of understanding of the airline industry run high. 
I am an airline employee. I try to never say that on my blog because I need my job, and I don’t want to be censored. As a single mom of 3, who hates Donald Trump, I have plenty to write about without mentioning my job. 

Today I am breaking my silence as a public service (because I am also a humanitarian), to explain—not condone, everything that has people United hating. 

I do not work for United, but that fact is irrelevant because every single airline is run the same way, (the exception being how they treat their employees.) They all have mechanical delays and weather delays, they all overbook flights, and they all sell shitty food. We are all United Airlines.

I’ll start with the leggings incident. It’s ridiculous in my humble opinion, and I’ll tell you why.  I have 2 girls, both have survived my mothering and are now in college. (Another reason I need my job.) My girls and I have had multiple vicious fights about leggings. Leggings are not pants. My tombstone someday will read:

Her last words were: “Leggings will never be pants…and I told you I was sick.”

Wear your leggings to the dance studio, or the gym, but out in the world they are inappropriate. I didn’t like the way adult men leered at my girls when they wore leggings, and if wearing a shirt that covers your butt will prevent that, just wear a long shirt! I have written countless posts about the clothes fights I’ve had with my girls, (if you care to read them try a google search.) I also have clothes fights with my high school aged son, but that’s for a future post. 

Consider this—when I started my job in the early 90’s, if you used a free pass to fly, you had to adhere to a strict dress code, i.e. dress up: men in suits and ties, women in business attire. The agents made us change our clothes all the time. They were the original fashion police, and it was extremely subjective. There were guidelines: shirts had to have collars, if you wore a skirt or dress you had to wear stockings, no flip flops…it was hell (not really.) It was what it was, and that’s all what it was. 

Back to the airline leggings caper—So, this little girl with the leggings who had to change her clothes— I don’t see it as sexist as some people are trying to make it; I see it as the company trying to project a professional image. It was a free company issued travel pass, had she purchased a ticket she would have not heard a word about her lack of pants. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear the employee lost their travel-pass privileges over the drama, because that’s exactly what would have happened in the 90’s. That’s my opinion on that. If you disagree, tell someone who cares. (An example of my work attitude—that would be a joke.)

Now back to the saga of the oversold flight—There is a percentage of travelers who mis-connect everyday, different destinations more so than others, and certain days, or times of the day have more misconnects. For example, the day we “fall back” changing our clocks to daylight savings, is a big day for people missing their flights. If people are connecting to a flight from another flight that was delayed, they too would misconnect and need to be re-booked. 

It is someone’s job to calculate trends and averages and use that data to decide how many seats to sell on flights to various destinations at various times of the day or week, regardless of the number of seats on the airplane. If there is bad weather in the mix, or a big travel weekend like Thanksgiving, fuh·ged·da·boud·it. 

My opinion on overbooking flights really doesn’t matter, but I’ll tell you anyway. It is wrong, and it’s driven by corporate greed– like everything.

On the other hand, if you oversleep and miss your flight, the airlines will put you on another flight. They may charge you a fee, but let’s go back to the 90’s again- if you lost your paper ticket, you lost all the money you paid for the flight. The airlines sold the seat and received payment for the seat whether anyone sat in it or not. It doesn’t work like that now. Everything is much more forgiving. You lose the boarding pass, you can pull up another one. You miss your flight, you jump on another one. You forget to wear pants, you throw a long shirt on. 

Relax– travel is intolerable if you overthink it, and if you try to control it, you’ll be carried off the airplane by airport security. 

If you’re on a flight that’s oversold, you’ll hear the agent ask for volunteers to take the next flight in exchange for a travel voucher worth a certain amount of money. There are people who hope for this scenario. They get a paid for hotel room, if the next flight isn’t until the next day, sometimes they receive a food voucher, and they get hundreds of dollars to use the next time they’re brave enough to get sucked into the vortex of airline travel.   

My opinion is that the entire industry is out of control. Travelers want flexibility, but if they buy a ticket on a flight they want to be guaranteed a seat. It is crazy, but that isn’t always the case. 

This post is too long, so if anyone is still reading I’ll do you a favor and get to the point. You can’t have everything in life, or in travel: low prices, flexibility, forgiveness for oversleeping, a free ticket without pants. You can not have it all because it leads to what happened on that United flight this week.

I blame corporate greed, but, if you read my blog you know I always do. All CEO’s want, more than anything, is their annual bonus, and maybe a golden parachute. They aren’t standing at a podium at the gate with 30 people who can’t get home because some shirt in an office somewhere figured overselling the flight would maximize their profits. If they were the person getting yelled at face to face on a regular basis, my bet is things would change. The day to day frontline employees are as much a victim of these policies as the poor guy being carried off the airplane. They take all the abuse and see NONE of the benefits of this policy. 

I say blame the guy at the top…and don’t mention my name.

One last thing. If someone tells you they work for the airlines, that doesn’t mean they want to hear about your worst flying experience. If I find out you work for McDonalds, I’m not going to go into a long diatribe about how once my french fries were missing. 

We never had this conversation. 

_____________________

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/unravel/”>Unravel</a&gt;

The Seven Days of Trumpness

A new week is upon us, and I find I’m bored. The news and its subjects have become repetitive. In order to amuse myself I’ve decided to organize my political thoughts and limit time spent on each to one day a week. As such, my thoughts will be distributed in a more predictable manner. I’ve come up with the following schedule for future posts:

Screw the poor Sunday

This will be the day I lament the redistribution of wealth to the wealthiest 10- 15 people in America. I will also discuss the cuts to programs benefiting everyone else- i.e., public education, healthcare, Medicare, Medicaid, meals on wheels, the arts, etc.

Misogynistic Monday

Here I will cover things like Ivanka’s fake feminism, the normalization of sexual assault and harassment, the way VP Pence (1950’s escapee) views women, and the effects his views have on women in the workplace, and on women’s health.

Twisted Tweet Tuesday

A kind of Twitter Roshach test. I will look at trumps tweets as if they are ink blots and describe the first thing that comes to mind.

Wiretapping Wednesday

The topics will range from microwave cameras to the many ways to use word “surveil” in a sentence.

Senate Hearings on Russia Thursday

This is the day to discuss thoughts on- Nunes, and address questions like who put him in charge? Oh that would be Trump. This is the most frustrating day of all, because the investigation into Trump’s Russian ties is happening at a snales pace. We should have moved on to a better administration by now.

Fact-Check Friday

This will be a busy day. We will clear up lies about climate change, foreign allies, the difference between real and fake news, and finally we will clear up misconceptions about how the federal government works, with it’s three parts, not just one. The Executive branch has partners, about 5,000,000 workers, then there is the Legislative (Senate and House of Representatives) and the Judicial (Supreme Court and lower Courts). I will attempt to explain how this dispels the belief of some orange leaders that America is a dictatorship.

Supremacist Saturday

Saturday’s will be dedicated to: Trump’s calls to violence at rallies, his refusal to denounce the KKK and the resultant increase in racial violence. I will take a closer look at old white men (not too close) in his cabinet and ponder their lifelong efforts to keep their kind in the power position. 

On second thought, that schedule is a bit regimented. I might instead break my schedule down by months…I hope a new category comes to light soon— like how much time will Trump be sentenced to, what his color chart says about prison jumper colors: black and white stripes vs. solid orange, who will be his cell mate… That category would breathe a new life into my posts. 

Twenty Years after Trump

Think about the future, twenty years from now 

Political chaos over, the planet survives somehow

Will democrats and republicans continue to subsist?

With fundamentally divergent ideologies of which both resist

A rainbow in the fog, a blazing fire in the rain

We are part of the same story, when we’re hurt we all feel pain

Peace and health for those we love, it’s our universal goal

No one wants to see a future where a dystopian world unfolds

This territory of confusion, with wars that loom ahead

Waged by selfish shortsightedness—can we have a do-over instead?

This particular war was started with attacks against our own

In the distant future we’ll see clearly all we should have known

We sit back and watch protections that had been put in place

Eliminated under false pretense by a man with an orange face

He isn’t doing us a favor, although that’s what he claims

He does this all for money because that’s how he wins his game

Russia is in the White House, Putin pulling puppet strings

Until we stand together who knows what the future brings

Trump is a temporary president, his pawns in in front of us

Pence, Sessions, Tillerson, Bannon, Kushner, Nunes, Priebus

How will they atone? Only time will tell

Meantime we are learning how bad garbage can smell

If the world survives this, and calmness is restored

Clean air reinstated, we’ll again care for the poor

Our beloved Elmo will be re-employed

All but 35 percent of us will be overjoyed

It’s only a matter of time until the conclusion of the story

I wonder how it will read in twenty years when it’s history